Inflection Points
Inflection points bring us to a fork in the road. This post will teach you how to identify them, what to learn from them, and the opportunities they present for you.
I want to start this week off with an excerpt, diving right into the topic of inflection points:
“As a result, most people are like [this]: they won't realize they're at an inflection point until it has passed. And if they do realize it, they'll often just react to it without constructive thought. They see inflection points as something that happens to them, something they can only respond to defensively. Like passive observers in their own lives.
"Very few people see inflection points as the opportunities they often are: catalysts for changing their lives; moments when a person can modify the trajectory he or she is on and redirect it in a more desirable direction," he continued. "Whether it's a new job, a change in a relationship, or something else, an inflection point is one of those periodic windows of opportunity when a person can pause, reflect, and ask: 'Self, do I want to continue on this path or is now the moment to change direction?'"
-Howard’s Gift: Uncommon Wisdom to Inspire Your Life’s Work by Eric C. Sinoway
Inflection points are many things.
In short, inflection points are times in your life when events bring you to a fork in the road. They force you to re-examine yourself, your path, your life. They can stem from positive situations or from some of the darkest. More often than not, we don’t notice inflection points until they’re already past us, and we’re left wishing we would have done things differently with that moment.
Inflection points are opportunities
Opportunities for growth, learning, getting uncomfortable, making tough choices, and re-examining your life plans. Inflection points gift you with choice. It gifts you with reasons to take action on something you might otherwise have never considered. Maybe you always thought you were career-driven. Until you decided to start a family. Now you aren’t sure if you are because you are flirting with the idea of being a stay-at-home mom instead. It’s something you never thought to consider until the inflection point occurred.
Inflection points are changes, whether good or bad.
Think about your reaction to normal change. Do you embrace it or resist it? Do you meet the challenge or do you hide from it? Do you take time to think about it or are you immediately reactive? Do you invite change or do you see it as a threat? Knowing how you react to change and understanding how you feel about change is important. Because change is one of the only certainties in life. And if you don’t learn how to adapt to it, if you don’t know how to anticipate it or react to it, it can end up causing you a lot of stress, anxiety, and uncertainty.
For me, two major inflection points I can recall in my most recent years involved my career.
One was leaving the bedside. As you’ve heard before, I struggled with the idea. But I like to get ahead of things before they happen, and I knew that I was unhappy with the way hospital and healthcare settings were heading. I removed myself from the situation before it forced me to do something. This was a great inflection point for me and led me on the best possible path for my career. My second inflection point was something outside of my control. It was my first gig in the corporate world and my company was getting bought. We weren’t merging, we were acquired. Most of my co-workers handled this impending acquisition with fear and anger. They could only think of the negative side of change and what it might immediately mean.
I decided to go with it. Realistically, what else was I going to do if I intended on staying?
I started obtaining all the information I could on the new company, I looked into all the changes that were being presented, and I took time to analyze things. By doing so, I was able to find the positives instead of all the negatives others were focused on. A bigger company comes with more resources, more room to grow and move around, more money and incentives. The new company paid for my master’s degree, they set me up in a mentorship program, and they opened the door wide for me to transition into my current role. Had I stayed complacent, had a bitched and complained, I would have let that inflection point walk right on by without taking advantage.
Inflection points are diversions or disruptions.
These inflection points are situations that sideline you. Deaths, divorce, serious injuries, job loss, medical illnesses, financial downturns. These are events that you never see coming. Other inflection points can provide you with time to adjust and think about your options. Like deciding to take a new job, deciding to leave a long-term relationship, deciding to move across the country. But planning for the unexpected isn’t really something we spend time dwelling on.
It’s a time of significant change, complicated challenges, and feelings of grief.
In any one of these scenarios, there is a loss experienced. And with loss comes grief. The shock and fear, denial, anger, depression, bargaining, acceptance, until finally healing. The grieving process is unique and individualized. No two people will have the same journey through grief. No two people will spend the same amount of time in each stage. And it’s not a linear process. You can take steps backward, you can skip a stage. There are no rules and requirements for grief. But these disruptions and diversions are also a time for resilience. When grief no longer levels you, when you can pick yourself back up from the loss you feel, you have choices to make. Will this inflection point permanently sideline you or will you become resilient and thrive? You worked so hard at this thing called life. I hope you choose to fight through it.
Sometimes inflection points are obvious or result from a choice you already made.
But you often don’t realize that you are experiencing an inflection point until it has passed. As Soren Kierkegaard had said, “life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” Or if you prefer the common saying: hindsight is 20-20. Perhaps the solution to missing less of life’s inflection points is to closely examine shifts in our priorities and mindset as well as indulge in self-reflection. Are there two priorities in your life that are competing with each other? Are you no longer feeling the same love for something in your life that you once burned for? These are times when you should be searching for the answer to “what now?” Too often we practice avoidance. We hope that the problem just goes away. That these transition periods will soon just dissolve seamlessly into the fabric of our lives.
Some of you know what I’m about to share, but not many of you will.
With the permission of my co-pilot, the main character in this story, I have another example of an inflection point to demonstrate. Ryan had his second seizure in September. We thought after three years had passed from the first one, that it was a fluke incident. If you didn’t know, everyone gets one free pass in their life for having a seizure. But unfortunately, the second one solidifies your seizure disorder. Not only did we have to grapple with this new diagnosis and reality, but his career as a firefighter was now being brought into question.
Without getting into too many details, his future as a firefighter is still undetermined.
Almost four months since the seizure, and we are still in waiting for the final verdict. Luckily for him, he has the Union, US law, and the ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act) on his side. As well as enough sick time to keep us as a two-income household for a very extended amount of time. But what if that changes? What if we become a one-income household? What if he’s forced out of his career? Our life plan is tied to our current state of income and employment. When he gets to retire after his 20-year commitment to the department, I was also seeking to retire shortly after. Our financial journey is intertwined with his occupation. It would affect not only our long-term plans but our short-term as well. Trying to pay down student loans and car payments is a lot harder when it’s based on current salaries and stability.
Once I calmed down from the initial shock.
Once I took a step back and re-examined the situation. Once I stopped reacting and thought about what this inflection point presented, I was able to see the opportunities that lay beyond. It’s no doubt a disruption in life’s bigger picture for us. But it allows Ryan to change focus a bit. He can focus on his education and take extra classes. Though it wasn’t in the plan for him to need to use this education any time soon as it was to be a post-retirement option, it’s now something solid to fall back on. It gives him time to explore other options. It also allows us an opportunity to grow stronger in our marriage. For the last eight years that I’ve known this man, I would joke “when does marriage get hard?” because life with him is pretty easy. Well, I guess I got my answer… look and you shall receive! It’s been a struggle being together 24/7 as I work from home, but it’s nice having him here every night and not worrying about his safety.
Even further, it lets us reassess what brings value to us.
By planning for later instead of avoiding it now, we are able to take a hard look at our monthly finances and decide what stays and what goes if he’s no longer to continue his occupation. We can play with different scenarios and temporary solutions to see what makes sense without too much sacrifice. I don’t do well with the unknown. But facing this head-on, by already having some sort of built-in safety net in anticipation, we are much more capable of handling this challenge, this disruption, this unexpected change than we ever would have been if we weren’t forced into it.
Life is not something you can design on a graph.
It’s not something you can plot and connect lines to. It’s not something you can solve for. You can lay out all the plans you want in pretty spiral notebooks or fancy spreadsheets. You can check off one milestone after another. Everything is going well until it’s not. There are dips and curves, zigs and zags. You need to be able to ride with the change of direction instead of trying to fight against it. Remember that you aren’t in control of every situation, but you are in control of how you react. Why wouldn’t you want to try and take control of a situation and have some influence on the outcome? Why wouldn’t you want to decide how your life will look moving forward?
Some tips for handling inflection points:
Avoid being impulsive. If you know that you are reactive, it’s time to learn how to control your emotions and feelings. When in your life did reacting instead of thinking help you in a situation? My guess is probably zero for most of us.
Take some inventory. This involves assessing and identifying your limitations, opportunities, and choices. Knowing more about the situation and about your needs will only help you figure out how to align yourself for the best possible outcome.
Analyze the potential outcomes. Don’t make immediate decisions based on initial exposure to an inflection point. Take time to think through choices.
Make an actual decision. This is the imperative piece. If you’ve avoided being impulsive, you took inventory, and you analyzed your options and their outcomes, you now have to make a decision. If you wait too long or avoid it altogether, you can be certain that a choice will be made for you, and you may not like the result.
Until next week,