Why are Women in the Bathroom so Nice to Each Other?
Full disclosure: This one is quick and might seem different than previous blog posts.
BUT… I was intrigued by this concept over the weekend (as I have been many times before), and I finally decided to ramble about it. Other people have to have made these observations too!
“I like your shoes!”
“OMG, that outfit looks great on you!”
“That haircut really suits you!”
“You’re like really beautiful!”
Okay, I took the most basic girlish sentiments I could think of from my early 2000s-era partying days, but you get the overall picture. Women are extremely nice, helpful, comforting, and supportive of one another in the bathroom of almost any establishment. I’ve made countless friends in the grimiest of bathrooms, taken numerous selfies, and given endless amounts of free advice to a fellow sister in need. And both the compliments and expressions of thanks are with complete sincerity.
Why does this bathroom phenomenon exist?
It’s because we let our inhibitions down. We stop caring what others think, what society thinks, and we just genuinely want to be nice to one another. But for some reason outside of that neutral ground, we are programmed to believe we are each other’s enemy.
Outside of that mythical place, the common thought is that women overall dislike each other.
We compete, we compare, we blame, and we tear one another down. I won’t say that every woman is a saint and we certainly all have our moments, but where did these notions originate?
Career.
Working alongside women comes with an array of misconceptions. We are all catty, we gossip, and we will climb over one another to get to the top. These statements are likely based on what has been experienced previously, but holding every woman and workplace to the same assumptions isn’t fair. Plenty of us want to see those fighting alongside of us every day succeed at everything they do. If anything we are fighting the patriarchy banded together, so fewer bros are promoted and more women can dominate. It’s hard enough to just survive in this world, some of us would prefer not to make it harder.
Love.
We get told over and over again that other women are a threat to our relationships. It makes us insecure, paranoid, and standoffish when someone we are interested in has friends who are women, or they frequently find themselves in situations where single women are hanging out. I’m not saying all women are innocent, but before we label each other, we should consider getting to know each other first. Plenty of times when I was younger, I was quick to judge any woman, but especially a woman around my significant other. What I ended up figuring out through growth and lessons learned was that more often than not, I actually enjoyed the other woman’s company and remained their friend long after the relationship had ended.
Society.
Let’s talk reality TV. We laugh about it, joke about it, but really all we are doing is helping to spread the lie rather than correct it. Have you seen Selling Sunset, Summer House, Vanderpump Rules, or Housewives of whatever city? That toxicity sells and makes creators and cast millions of dollars. That trash becomes what people expect normal encounters between women to look like. We’ve already lost this one.
So, what do we do about it?
We surround ourselves with people who empower us, and who have a positive mindset.
We don’t prejudge based on misconceptions and assumptions.
We build each other up instead of tearing each other down.
We don’t judge ourselves or compare ourselves to others.
We give praise freely.
We keep an empathetic attitude because we will never fully know what someone else is struggling with.
This world has enough chaos. Focus on bringing peace.
Until next time,
